Uzumaru Inai
by Aisu1
Summary: Title means "Buried Within". Collection of songfics, mostly about Kagome's thoughts and feelings. May throw in some songfics about Inu Yasha also.
1. Somewhere I Belong

Disclaimer: Inu Yasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi. Mou...wish I did. ;_; Song is "Somewhere I Belong," by Linkin Park (definitely got to listen to it, it kicks serious ass!!).  
  
Author Notes: Wahhh! I know, I know! I'm supposed to be updating _Breaking Point_, but I'm having such writer's block on it! This was just a short burst of inspiration...I heard the song while driving home today, and thought, "Wow, this is so Kagome!" So here it is. Enjoy.  
  


**Belonging**  
fet. "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park

  
  
  
The flames of the campfire danced in the darkness of the night. Silence filled the camp except for the crackling of the embers and the steady breathing of the sleeping travelers. All asleep but one.  
  
Kagome remained awake, staring into the flames, as if she was searching for comfort from the blaze. Her grey eyes were glazed over as she stared into the dancing flames.   
  
Finally snapping out of her insomnia-fueled trance, she sighed and reached into her pack. Pulling out her discman and her CDs, she popped one into the player before placing the remaining CDs into the bag. Standing up quietly, she put on the headphones and gave a lingering glance around at her companions.  
  
Sango, sleeping across from her, was unconsiously holding Miroku's hand as she slept, a look of content on her face. Kirara was curled near the slayer's feet. Miroku lay near Sango, having moved closer once he was sure the slayer was asleep. Shippo was nestled in her sleeping bag, little fox feet kicking every once in a while as he gripped the material of the sleeping bag.  
  
Lastly, her gaze fell on the hanyou residing in the tree above. He appeared to be asleep, Tetsusaiga resting across his chest as his ears twitched occasionally.  
  
She smiled sadly, before making her way quietly out of the campsite and into the forest around them.  
  
One amber eye opened to watch the disappearing girl.  
  
  
Once Kagome was sure she was out of earshot from her companions, she hit the on button on her discman. She had downloaded the song a week ago in her time and finally decided to listen to it. The opening strains of the music drifted through the headphones as she settled down on a fallen tree that lay across the path. She dropped the emotionless mask she held before sighing slightly.  
  
The music sped up to a louder rock/techno beat and she closed her eyes, savoring the music.  
  
_(When this began)  
I had nothing to say   
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me_   
  
'True...' She thought, opening her eyes half-way. 'At the beginning of this damn journey, I really didn't have a reason to be here...other than find the pieces of the Shikon no Tama. Is that why I feel so empty? Because I don't have a purpose here, other than being a so-called shard detector?'  
  
_(I was confused)   
And I live it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind_   
  
'Sango, Miroku, Shippo...and Inu Yasha all have a purpose. To defeat Naraku and avenge their loved ones. Sango, her village and family. Miroku, his grandfather, father...and himself. Shippo has his father to avenge. And Inu Yasha...' She shut her eyes tightly to trap the tears that stung, 'Inu Yasha has to avenge Kikyo...'   
  
_(Inside of me)   
But all that they can see the words revealed   
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel_   
  
'What do I have? What do I have to live for? Sometimes I wonder if this is even real...I mean, who travels through time? Fights demons and guards a sacred jewel?' She let out a short, harsh laugh that reflected the hollowness inside.   
  
'Is this real..?'  
  
_(Nothing to lose)   
Just stuck, hollow and alone   
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_  
  
'Alone...no matter who I travel with, I'll be alone. Because in the end, I'm the one who's caused all their pain. If I hadn't shattered the jewel...' She grit her teeth and slammed her fist down onto the rough bark, feeling the tree shake slightly from the impact.  
  
'Then their problems wouldn't have occured. It's all my fault...'   
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real   
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)_  
  
She held her hand in front of her face, watching the dark blood run from her split knuckles. She couldn't feel any pain from the wound, even though she was sure it was there. 'It's just numb because of the pain I already have...' She winced at the sharp pain in her heart as she lowered her hand back to her side.  
  
'Why can't this just go away...?'  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along   
Somewhere I belong _  
  
Still feeling the warm blood trickling down to the dirt below her, she absently wiped it on her blue boxers, but the wound just filled with more of the crimson liquid.   
  
'I guess this is real...you don't bleed in dreams...' She sighed as she felt a slight summer breeze ruffle her hair and white shirt. '...Or do you?'  
  
_And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face   
(I was confused)_   
  
'I can't compare to what Kikyo was - or is - but I can't argue with Inu Yasha about it. I've told him countless times I'm not her...but he just won't see that...see me for who I am...' She thought sadly.  
  
_Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
(So what am I)_   
  
'If it was a dream...I wouldn't hurt so much because of Inu Yasha...' She held her bleeding hand against her chest, closing her eyes and breathing out another sigh. 'I can't tell him how I feel...since he already made his decision to be with Kikyo...I don't have a place with him. Not anymore.' She reopened her eyes and raised them skyward, watching the stars through the forest canopy.  
  
'What am I to him?'  
  
_What do I have but negativity   
'Cause I can't trust to find the way, everyone is looking at me   
(Nothing to lose)_   
  
'Find the way to the Shikon shards, that's the only thing I'm good for. Just as he said. Everyone relies on me to find them, so that we can face Naraku.' She let out another forced laugh, this one mixed with a choked sob. 'Either way I can't lose...I'm probably gonna die anyway...so what is there to lose?'  
  
_Nothing to gain, hollow and alone   
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_   
  
'Dying...it doesn't seem so frightening to me anymore...and if I die, it'll probably be because of some stupid mistake on my part. It'll be my fault...just like everything else.' She stood from the tree, eyes drifting over the area she rested in. Nothing but trees and shrubs, surrounded by darkness.  
  
'Alone...but isn't that what I wanted...?'   
  
_I will never know myself until I do this on my own_  
  
'Never know...until my purpose is fulfilled...'  
  
_And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed_  
  
'Will this pain in my heart ever go away? Heal like the physical wounds inflicted each day?'  
  
_I will never be anything till I break away from me_  
  
'Break away from me...is that me or Kikyo? Kikyo...is she the cause of all this mess inside...?'  
  
_I will break away and find myself today_  
  
'I'll never know...will I...'  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real   
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)_  
  
She shook her head frantically, eyes squeezed shut as tears seeped through her barriers. She wiped them away furiously, starting to walk away back towards the camp. The steady dripping of blood from her knuckles went ignored as she pulled the emotionless expression back on her face.  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along   
Somewhere I belong _  
  
'Do I belong here? Do I truly belong anywhere...?'  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong_  
  
  
The sky had started to lighten when Kagome finally approached the camp. The fire had gone out, and nothing but a few wisps of smoke remained. Her companions were still asleep, or so she thought.  
  
"Oi, Kagome." She looked up at Inu Yasha, who frowned at her before landing in front of her. She forced a small smile on her face before answering, "Yeah?"  
  
"Where were you? You left earlier this morning. Don't you know there are demons out there who would love to have you for lunch?" He growled softly. She shrugged.   
  
"I needed some time to myself...to think things over..." She spoke, removing the headphones and placing the discman back into her pack.  
  
"You're bleeding." She didn't look up from her pack as she replied, waving her uninjured hand. "Hmm...just cut it on some bark. It's just a scratch, nothing big."  
  
He knelt down next to her and grabbed her injured hand. He looked it over, eyes slightly softening. She studied him, before growing impatient.  
  
"I told you, it's nothing to worry about-" She stopped when he tore a part of his inner kimono and started wrapping her hand. When he was done, he leaned back on his haunches and looked her in the eye.  
  
"What were you thinking about?" He asked, the softened expression still present on his normally stoic face. She smile softly, a genuine one this time.  
  
"Oh, it's not important anymore. I think I've figured it out now..." She replied, just as the sun started to rise, signaling the morning.   
  
_Somewhere I belong_  
  
  
Wai! It's done! Please R/R, tell me what you think! And yes, this is a one shot. ^^v 


	2. Identity Crisis

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the song "Identity Crisis," by Element of Surprise.  
  


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Lightning flashed in the raging clouds above, illuminating Kagome's surroundings as she stumbed out of the forest. She fell to her knees once she reached the middle of the meadow. The merciless rain hid the tears that streamed down her face.  
  
_"You idiot! If you had died, who would we have to find the shards?!" Inuyasha yelled at the fuming Kagome.  
  
"Well, why don't you just go get your precious Kikyo and have her be your new tama detector?!" Kagome retorted, her hands clentched at her sides as she glared at the hanyou.  
  
"At least she isn't a worthless excuse for a miko and can protect herself!" Silence. Kagome looked down at the floor.   
  
"I know..." She whispered, and fled the hut, disappearing into the storm._  
  
"Damn him!!" Kagome yelled, pounding her fists on the ground, sobbing. A shot of thunder above her punctuated her outburst. She went still and opened her pain-filled grey eyes. Her rippled reflection in the puddle in front of her met her gaze. She could almost see Kikyo's face hidden within her own in the water. She smacked the surface of the puddle angrily, distorting the refection.  
  
Words from a song she had heard back home floated through the turmoil in her mind. She let out a forced laugh at how close the lyrics fit her situation. She started murmering the words, before standing up and singing them out loud. The thunder and pouring rain seemed to accentuate the words as she sang them.  
  
**Look at your life. Is it your life?   
Have you lost your identity?   
Don't stand their looking spell bound,   
As if you don't understand the question at hand.**  
  
She closed her eyes and raised her face towards the sky. Kagome paid no heed to the stinging rain that assulted her face. With everyone gone and Inuyasha back at Kaede's hut, she felt free to let all her frustration and agony out. Eyes still closed, she spread her arms, letting the rain soak her clothes and hair. The action caused the wound in her shoulder to reopen, soaking the bandages and her wet uniform top a dark red. She flinched from the sudden pain, but ignored it. The injury made her look like Kikyo after Naraku had attacked her the some 50 years ago...and she hated it.  
  
'I'm so sick of it all...I just...can't take it anymore...' She thought, before nearly singing the chorus at the top of her lungs.   
  
'I just wish he'd understand....' She thought, not noticing the hanyou in question standing behind her at the edge of the meadow, listening to every word she sang.  
  
**Waste another night. Are you with me?   
Underneath light. Are you with me?   
Hold each other tight. Are you with me?   
Waste another night. Are you with me? **  
  
Kagome gave in against trying to stop her tears, and let the flow continue. She concentrated on the next verse, trying to get her mind of the pain from her shoulder. But the physical pain was nothing compared to what she felt inside.   
  
**This time it's what I want.   
I can't wait for you.   
Your holding on to what I'm not.   
And done this for so long.   
Underneath it all, this makes more sense in my mind. **  
  
"I'm not Kikyo...why can't you just understand that?!" Screaming the question at the top of her lungs, Kagome opened her eyes and glared at the storm raging above her. Its fury only matched her own.  
  
Inuyasha grimaced at the pain that controlled her voice, both in song and spoken word. He moved towards her, but she didn't notice him. She was too ensnared in the song and her own grief.  
  
**High expectations lead to disappointment   
You try to hide what's still obvious to me.   
Now you find your self with questions   
Figure out a way to reach the answers are so discrete. **  
  
Flinching when he heard that verse, he stopped and stared at her. Kagome was wrapping her arms around herself - whether it was from being cold or needing comfort - he didn't know.  
  
Everything he had said before came back with a vengence, tearing him up inside.  
  
_"Damn tama detector!"  
  
"You're nothing like Kikyo!"  
  
"At least she isn't a worthless excuse for a miko and can protect herself!"_  
  
**Look at your life. Is it your life?   
Have you lost your identity?   
Don't stand their looking spell bound,   
As if you don't understand the question at hand. **  
  
Kagome brought her hands up and studied the blood that dripped from them. She looked down at the pool of blood, and once again saw Kikyo face staring at her own.  
  
"Maybe I have lost my identity...just a replacement for Kikyo..." She whispered miserably. Her words were not lost on Inuyasha.  
  
He turned towards the forest and jumped into the treetops. Kagome turned in time to see the red of his haori disappear into the forest canopy.  
  
**Waste another night. Are you with me?   
Underneath light. Are you with me?   
Hold each other tight. Are you with me?   
Waste another night. Are you with me?**   
  
She wiped her eyes again, drying her face of tears, even as the rain still streaked in place of the tears. Wiping her hands on her clothes, she started walking back towards the village.  
  
As she passed by the tree he hid in, she slowed her pace. She could tell he was there...hiding from her. Kagome whispered softly the remaining verse, knowing he would hear it with his demon hearing.   
  
**This time it's what I want.   
I can't wait for you.   
Your holding on to what I'm not.   
And done this for so long.   
Underneath it all, this makes more sense in my mind**  
  
She disappeared into the forest, leaving a confused hanyou to think about what she had said.  
  


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This song so kicks ass. I highly suggest you listen to it, you can find it at MP3.com or at their website:  
  
www.eosband.com   
  
Love it? Hate it? Review! ^.^v  



	3. Solitude

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha (damn!). The song used is "Solitude," by Evanescence.  
  
  
  
  
"K-Kagome..."  
  
Kagome forced a smile on her face as Inu Yasha fumbled for an explaination, and waved her hand around in the air in a placeting gesture. Kikyo had already departed after Kagome had stumbled upon their little 'meeting.'  
  
"It's fine, Inu Yasha..." Her steady voice covered the emotions she really felt. He quieted, still watching her with suspicious eyes. She blinked, and spoke again.  
  
"I just came to tell you...that I need to head home for another test." She silently prayed that he would buy her little white lie. True, she had a test coming up, but it wasn't for another week. He stayed silent, as if contemplating her answer.  
  
_Please believe me...please...I just want to get away from you...from the pain..._  
  
"One day. I'll be back for you tomorrow night." He replied, his voice in monotone. She sighed a little and nodded, before turning around and departing for the well. Inu Yasha stood staring after her.  
  
  
  
Throwing her pack across the room, Kagome flopped onto her bed after hearing the satisfying crash that it made. She was glad her family was out, or else she would have gotten an earful for the show of violent behavior.  
  
_Why does it hurt so bad?_  
  
She screamed into her pillow, trying to relieve some of the frustration, but failing miserably.  
  
Without moving her head from where it remained buried in her pillow, she felt around with her hand until she found her stereo remote where it rested on her nightstand.  
  
Hitting the play button, not caring which CD or song played, she rolled over onto her back. Staring at the celing, as if hoping it would answer her unspoken question.  
  
_Why?_  
  
  
  
Hearing the music come on, she vagely recognized the song that was starting. "Solitude," by Evanescence.  
  
_How perfectly ironic,_ she thought bitterly. Hearing the music begin the verses, she sang along.  
  
**How many times have you told me you love her  
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth**  
  
Kagome's emotions finally broke down, the flood of tears streaming down her face and dripping onto her comforter. Her hand fisted the material above her heart.   
  
_Why can't I tell him?_ She bit back a choked sob. _Because I know he loves her, not me. Always Kikyo, never Kagome._  
  
_He wants the one that will drag him to Hell, the one who is dead, the one who wanted him to change, to become human. Not the alive one, the one who loves him...for who he is._  
  
**How long have I stood here beside you  
I live through you  
You looked through me**  
  
\\Flashback//  
  
"Inu Yasha..." Kagome stood up and looked into his eyes. He stared back silently.  
  
"Can I stay with you?" She whispered.  
  
\\End Flashback//  
  
_I could have stayed here permanently, but no. I chose to cause myself more suffering by being by his side. Why?_  
  
_Because I wanted to be with him...but the pain is becoming too much now..._  
  
_Kikyo. Never Kagome. He never sees me as Kagome. Always as Kikyo._ She rolled onto her side, facing away from the window.  
  
_Damn it!_   
  
**Oh, Solitude,  
Still with me is only you  
Oh, Solitude,  
I can't stay away from you**  
  
_At least one thing is for sure, I'll always be alone,_ she thought sarcastically.   
  
_After the mission is over, Sango and Miroku will go off, probably with each other. Shippo...will probably go with them. Inu Yasha will go to Hell with Kikyo. As for me, I'll head back here._  
  
_Alone...even Mama, Sota and Jii-chan have become so distant from me...probably wondering if I'll ever come back for good._  
  
**How many times have I done this to myself  
How long will it take before I see**  
  
_A year now. It's been a whole fucking year since I asked to stay by his side. I can't take it anymore..._  
  
She cried out and wrapped her arms around herself, curling herself into a ball.  
  
_How pathetic am I...all this pain is making me weak. I've been so stupid and blind to keep doing this to myself._ Her eyes dulled, tears still leaking in steady streams.  
  
_...keep torturing myself._  
  
**When will this hole in my heart be mended  
Who now is left alone but me**  
  
Inu Yasha frowned at the spot where Kagome had stood but a second ago.   
  
"Feh, fine my ass. Kagome, I know you were lying..." He growled.  
  
He could sense the underlying sadness that she hid and smell the unshed tears. Making up his mind, he followed her. Once he was sure she was in her time, he leapt into the well.  
  
He made his way out of the well house, noticing the eerie silence that loomed around the shrine. Her family's scents were faint, indicating they hadn't been there for a couple of hours. Kagome's scent was strong, however, indicating she was indeed home. He leapt into the tree beside her window and peered in.   
  
The room was dark, only illuminated by a strange purplish light - what had Kagome called it? Right, a black light. It cast a eerie light upon Kagome's figure lying on the bed, her white blouse almost glowing in the weird light.  
  
He could see and smell the hidden tears behind her blank gaze as she stared at the celing. Music started to come from that 'ste-re-o' thingy of hers and as the music played, he watched as the tears finally leaked from her eyes. Still watching her, as if transfixed, he noticed she started to sing along with the music.  
  
**Oh, Solitude,  
Forever me and forever you  
Oh, Solitude,  
Only you, only true**  
  
Inu Yasha continued to watch her as she sang, a choked sob escaping her lips every now and then. His golden eyes softened as he listened to the music and watched the girl cry.  
  
Kagome, oblivious to the hanyou outside her window, rolled over her back again. Her hand came up and grasped the nearly complete Shikon no Tama that dangled from the chain around her neck. She held it for a minute, then violently yanked on the chain, causing it to snap.   
  
The jewel rested in her clenched fist, glowing softly in the black light. A moment went by before she tossed it forcefully across the room, where it landed next to her pack. She turned on her side, facing the pack and the jewel. Her eyes glazed over as she stared blankly at the jewel, though the tears had finally stopped, and only her slightly ragged breath gave any indication that she had been crying.  
  
**Everyone leave me stranded  
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind**  
  
Silently opening her window, Inu Yasha climbed into her room, still out of sight. He paused, as if contemplating what to do next. Kagome finally spoke, shocking him out of his trance.  
  
"I know you're there, Inu Yasha." He nearly face-faulted. So much for going unnoticed.  
  
"Feh." He sat cross-legged against her bed, trying to avoid eye contact. The music from the stereo was the only sound in the room until Inu Yasha broke the silence. Kagome sat up on her bed, staring out the window.  
  
"What happened to 'stu-dy-ing' or what ever you call it?" He asked, a light twinge of worry and annoyance in his voice.  
  
"I'm done for the night. And I'm not going back until tomorrow night. You said one night, remember?" She replied, keeping her voice steady and monotone, "So why are you here if it's not to drag me back? Come back just to annoy me?"   
  
He shifted uncomfortably. "No."  
  
"Then why?" He stood up at her question, and faced her. She turned her head away from his intense gaze.  
  
"Why'd you leave?"  
  
**I can't stay here another night**  
  
She scowled. "I told you, I have a test tomorrow to study for!" Kagome crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.   
  
"Bullshit. You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Glaring at him, she turned to face the wall, away from him.  
  
"If you just came here to pester me, then I suggest you leave." She replied coolly. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him, his gaze softening as he noticed the pained look in her eyes.  
  
"Tell me, Kagome. Why did you leave?" He lowered his voice, no longer angry. Kagome bit her lip and looked away.  
  
"I...I can't..." She whispered.  
  
"It was because of Kikyo, wasn't it? What you saw...?"   
  
**Your secret in my heart   
Who could it be**  
  
Kagome paled at his statement. Everything she had witnessed came back to her.  
  
\\Flashback//  
  
Kagome was looking for Inu Yasha in order to inform him of another shard rumor.  
  
She found him, alright.  
  
Inu Yasha leaned against the trunk of the Goshimboku, holding Kikyo tenderly in his arms. Kagome was close enough that she could hear what was being said between them.  
  
"...Inu Yasha?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Do you still want to go to Hell with me?" Kikyo waited as Inu Yasha seemed to ponder his answer.  
  
"I...I don't know. We still have to defeat Naraku...and complete the Shikon no Tama."  
  
"What are you going to do with the jewel?" Her question caused Kagome to listen more closely.  
  
_Kami...if he catches me here...I'm dead!_ She thought, although she was curious as what he wanted to do with the jewel.  
  
"I don't know..." Kikyo seemed content with that answer as she leaned more into his embrace. He voice came soft when she finally spoke again.  
  
"You could wish me back to life..."  
  
"Yes, that's possible." He replied.  
  
"You do realize that for that wish to come true, though, my reincarnation must die?" Kagome held her breath.  
  
"Yes." At Inu Yasha's answer, Kagome let out a small gasp.  
  
\\End Flashback//  
  
"Not what I saw...what I heard..." She replied softly, her eyes tearing up again.  
  
**Oh, Can't you see  
All along it was me**  
  
Inu Yasha stared at her as she furiously wiped at the tears that leaked from her face. Kagome stood up and walked to her window, gazing out at the Goshimboku. Her bangs hid her eyes as she mumbled to herself. He strained to hear what she was muttering, and caught one thing.  
  
"'...for that wish to come true, my reincarnation must die...'" He nearly fell off the bed in shock when Kagome raised her head up and let out a hollow, bitter laugh.  
  
"True..." She let out another harsh laugh, seeming unable to stop. Turning around to face Inu Yasha, she spread her arms wide and raised her head up in determination.  
  
"Go ahead, Inu Yasha! Kill me, bring Kikyo back to life!" A sadistic grin overcame her features as she waited. He seemed speechless, his mouth moving but no words came out.   
  
"Well? Get it over with!!" She yelled. Inu Yasha snapped out of his shock and shook his head.  
  
"Why are you asking me to kill you?!"  
  
**How can you be so blind  
As to see right through me**  
  
"Why?! You want to fucking know why?!" She spat. "Because I can't take it anymore! It doesn't matter that I love you, I'm gonna die anyway by your hands, so why not make it now?!"  
  
She was sobbing by now, tears streaming down her face as she kept her arms out wide, waiting for him to strike. He stood up, and she shut her eyes tight, awaiting the pain to come.  
  
Her eyes snapped open when he grabbed her in a fierce hug. Inu Yasha buried his face in her hair, embracing her tighter.  
  
**And oh, Solitude,  
Still with me is only you  
Oh, Solitude,  
I can't stay away from you**  
  
"How can you think that?!" He asked angrily. "You know I'd never kill you, not for anybody!" Kagome shuddered, letting out another sob as she mumbled. Inu Yasha bent his head near her mouth to hear what she was saying.  
  
"...that's not what I heard you tell Kikyo..." She whispered.  
  
"Idiot!" He hugged her tighter, inhaling her scent that was streaked with the salty smell of tears. "You never let me finish telling Kikyo the rest!"  
  
She closed her eyes tightly, gripping the front of his haori, waiting for the truth to come out. Her eyes opened again when he whispered in her ear.  
  
"I said I knew you could die for that wish to be possible, but I never said I would allow it!" He pulled back, staring into her glassy blue eyes. Inu Yasha leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. As Kagome's sobs started to die down into sniffles, a though came to him.  
  
"Did you mean what you said?" She blinked confusedly at him, and he took a deep breath, "...that you love me...?" Kagome buried her face in his haori again. He barely caught her answer as she spoke it, somewhat bitterly.  
  
"Yes. But what does it matter, you love Kikyo and-" He but her off by placing a clawed finger on her lips, then leaning his forehead against hers again.  
  
"You don't know much then, do you?" She glared at him, then turned her gaze away. He sighed and tightened his grip around her waist.  
  
"Kagome, look at me..." He paused until she finally turned her gaze back at him, "I may owe Kikyo for her dying, but that's all. I care about her, sure, but she isn't the one I...love." Kagome closed her eyes, as thought expecting him to yell at her for her next question.  
  
"Then who...? You...and her..." She breathed, eyes remained closed as she gripped tighter on the material of his haori. Her eyes opened in surprise when she felt him touch her lips with his own.  
  
"...You..." He whispered against her mouth, silencing any protests she may have with a kiss.  
  
**Oh, Solitude,  
Forever me and forever you  
Oh, Solitude,  
Only you, only true**  
  
  
  
  
Yeah, I'm ending this here. I hadn't done a romantic one yet, so I made this. It's still quiet angsty, and the worst part is that I haven't heard the song, but the lyrics were just screaming the Kag/Inu/Kik situation. ^^ R/R!  
  



	4. Faint

**Author Rants:** I don't own Inu Yasha, or "Faint," by Linkin Park. (I suggest you listen to the song while reading this. It's off of Meteora and it rocks!)  
  


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_"He won't even look at me..."  
  
"Kagome...he was so wrong to accuse you of that..."  
  
"I just wish..."  
  
"..."  
  
"I just wish he'd trust me..."_  
  
Kagome's earlier conversation with Sango rang throughout her mind as she lay awake in Kaede's hut. Sango and Miroku were off at the next village with Kaede and Shippo...leaving her with Inu Yasha.  
  
The one person she didn't want to be near at the moment.  
  
He wasn't in the hut - rather, she guessed he was sulking in the Goshimboku tree. Or with Kikyo, she thought sadly.   
  
Sighing, she sat up from where she lay on the futon and pulled on a pair of loose jeans and a black short-sleeved shirt. Grabbing her stereo and CDs, she disappeared into the blackness of the night.  
  
  
  
  
Once she was sure she was far enough away from the village - and Inu Yasha - she set her boombox next to a tree. Stretching, she checked to make sure the right CD - Linkin Park's "Meterora" - was in the stereo.  
  
"Let's see...which song...'Numb?' Nah. 'Easier to Run?' Nope, listened to that yesterday. Hmm...this!"  
  
She chose the song she wanted to listen to, and pressing play, she closed her eyes and listened to the opening chords. When the time came for the lyrics, she opened her eyes and started to sing, her voice harmonizing with Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda's vocals in the song.  
  
_I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard  
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact   
That everybody can see these scars_  
  
Unconciously she placed her hand over her heart as she leaned against the tree, gazing across the lake in front of her. Her eyes took on a blank stare - as if she was trying to hide the scars on her heart and soul.  
  
It was quiet out in the area, except for the stereo and Kagome's voice. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling of absolute loneliness that surrounded her.  
  
Her grip over her heart became tighter.  
  
_I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel  
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you  
To just believe this is real_  
  
She pushed off from the tree and stumbled over to the lake. The stars surrounded her reflection in the still water and she started at her image. She scowled and smacked the surface of the water, distorting the reflection.  
  
_So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got_  
  
The ripple image seemed to change. Kagome blinked, thinking her eyes were playing tricks on her, but the image was still there. Kikyo and Inu Yasha together...then it changed again. Inu Yasha glaring at her , holding the shards, and turning his back on her. She shrieked and hit the water again, darting away from the lake as if it were poisonous.  
  
Her hand came up to the shards around her neck and she tugged at them forcefully, causing the chain to snap. She glared at the shards for a second, before chucking them at the stereo, where they landed, glowing slightly.   
  
_(I can't feel the way I did before)  
(Don't turn your back on me)  
(I won't be ignored)_  
  
Her voice came louder until she was almost shouting the lyrics, the sound overpowering the original vocals. Kagome leapt to her feet, glaring out across the nearly-black expanse. She snapped her eyes closed as she fisted her hands at her sides.  
  
_(Time won't heal this damage anymore)  
(Don't turn your back on me)  
(I won't be ignored)_  
  
All the pent up anger and hurt from earlier came bursting from her with an explosion. She was sick of it all: sick of putting up with Inu Yasha sneaking around to see Kikyo, sick of him comparing the two of them, sick of him not trusting her...  
  
Sick of having her heart shattered over and over again.   
  
_I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident  
Cause you don't understand I do what I can   
But sometimes I don't make sense_  
  
Kagome's voice quieted a little, but her tone still remained bitter. Opening her eyes, she stalked over to the tree that her stereo rested under, and leaned against it with her arms crossed over her chest.  
  
_I say what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt  
It's like no matter what I do   
I can't convince you for once just to hear me out_  
  
Her eyes darkened as she rememebered trying to explain what had happened between her and Kikyo yesterday.  
  
She had ran into Kikyo while practicing her archery in the forest. Kikyo had tried to bind her with the kouyouki again, and she had managed to escape them. As she did that, Kikyo had slashed her shoulder with one of Kagome's arrows, just as Inu Yasha had come bursting into the clearing. Throwing herself on him, Kikyo had lied, saying that Kagome had shot her.   
  
When Kagome had tried to explain, Inu Yasha had just yelled at her, insulting her and accusing her of attacking Kikyo.  
  
_So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got_  
  
Her fists tightened, until tiny streams of blood flowed from her palms. She grit her teeth and finally let out a pained yell, releasing all the raging emotion trapped within her.  
  
The sound echoed through the clearing, bouncing off the trees and fading into the music. Kagome jerked around and slammed her fist into the tree, wincing slightly at the stinging it evoked in her knuckles.   
  
_(I can't feel the way I did before)  
(Don't turn your back on me)  
(I won't be ignored)_  
  
She watched as the crimson blood from her split knuckles joined the already trickling flow that came from her cut palms.  
  
The liquid dripped to the ground, its color reminding Kagome of Inu Yasha's haori. And of her own bleeding heart.  
  
_(Time won't heal this damage anymore)  
(Don't turn your back on me)  
(I won't be ignored)_  
  
Slumping down to her knees, she finally broke, letting the anger be replaced by the overwhelming sadness. Tears streamed from her eyes, and she leaned against the tree, letting out a choked sob once in between lyrics.  
  
"I just...can't take it anymore. You've hurt me for so long...and now..." She raised her tearstained face to stare blankly at the lake.  
  
"Inu Yasha...I trust you...can't you trust me...?"  
  
  
  
  
Ten minutes or so later, she had bandagaed her hand and dried the tears. She almost seemed normal, except the overbearing sadness within her eyes.   
  
Gathering up her stereo and shoving the shards into her pocket, she turned around to leave.  
  
Only to run headlong into Inu Yasha.  
  
She backed away, sadness flashing again in her eyes for a moment, before she masked the emotion and turned to walk around him. He watched her disappear from the corner of his eye.  
  
Once she was gone, he sighed. Jumping into the tree where she had just been, he settled down. Kagome's song had really gotten to him. Inu Yasha closed his eyes.  
  
He had a lot to think about tonight.  
  


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Yay! Another chapter for the collection!   
  
I just burned Meteora (thanks to a friend ^.~), and loved it! So many of the songs apply to Kagome and Inu Yasha...and a few for Sango and Miroku. So expect more songfics from Meteora!   
  
Oh, and R/R too, please. ^^  
  



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